// cX, cY = current X and Y position of mouse, updated by mousemove event margin-right: 0; width: 296px; 100 chistes de humor negro no aptos para todos los pblicos Un sacerdote pregunta al asesino en la silla elctrica: "Tiene alguna ltima peticin?". Quitemos algunas advertencias. Hazlo en casa y ests "destruyendo pruebas". padding-left: 13px; El piedra de curanto: una persona muuuy u001ccariosau001d. > } color: #FFFFFF; font: 14px 'Oswald',Arial,Helvetica,Sans-serif; text-align: center; margin-top: 0; width: 163px; return menu; } type="color" default="#000"> Si ests aqu esta noche y nunca te has planteado el asesinato nunca te has divorciado". font-weight: bold; Me gustara tener hijos un da. o.retainPath=($.inArray($$[0],o.$path)>-1); } "0"+s:s;}function getBg(e){for(;e&&e.nodeName.toLowerCase()!="html";e=e.parentNode){var v=$.css(e,"background-color");if(v.indexOf("rgb")>=0){var rgb=v.match(/\d+/g);return"#"+hex(rgb[0])+hex(rgb[1])+hex(rgb[2]);}if(v&&v!="transparent"){return v;}}return"#ffffff";}$slides.each(function(){$(this).css("background-color",getBg(this));});}$.fn.cycle.commonReset=function(curr,next,opts,w,h,rev){$(opts.elements).not(curr).hide();opts.cssBefore.opacity=1;opts.cssBefore.display="block";if(w!==false&&next.cycleW>0){opts.cssBefore.width=next.cycleW;}if(h!==false&&next.cycleH>0){opts.cssBefore.height=next.cycleH;}opts.cssAfter=opts.cssAfter||{};opts.cssAfter.display="none";$(curr).css("zIndex",opts.slideCount+(rev===true?1:0));$(next).css("zIndex",opts.slideCount+(rev===true?0:1));};$.fn.cycle.custom=function(curr,next,opts,cb,fwd,speedOverride){var $l=$(curr),$n=$(next);var speedIn=opts.speedIn,speedOut=opts.speedOut,easeIn=opts.easeIn,easeOut=opts.easeOut;$n.css(opts.cssBefore);if(speedOverride){if(typeof speedOverride=="number"){speedIn=speedOut=speedOverride;}else{speedIn=speedOut=1;}easeIn=easeOut=null;}var fn=function(){$n.animate(opts.animIn,speedIn,easeIn,cb);};$l.animate(opts.animOut,speedOut,easeOut,function(){if(opts.cssAfter){$l.css(opts.cssAfter);}if(!opts.sync){fn();}});if(opts.sync){fn();}};$.fn.cycle.transitions={fade:function($cont,$slides,opts){$slides.not(":eq("+opts.currSlide+")").css("opacity",0);opts.before.push(function(curr,next,opts){$.fn.cycle.commonReset(curr,next,opts);opts.cssBefore.opacity=0;});opts.animIn={opacity:1};opts.animOut={opacity:0};opts.cssBefore={top:0,left:0};}};$.fn.cycle.ver=function(){return ver;};$.fn.cycle.defaults={fx:"fade",timeout:4000,timeoutFn:null,continuous:0,speed:1000,speedIn:null,speedOut:null,next:null,prev:null,onPrevNextEvent:null,prevNextEvent:"click.cycle",pager:null,onPagerEvent:null,pagerEvent:"click.cycle",allowPagerClickBubble:false,pagerAnchorBuilder:null,before:null,after:null,end:null,easing:null,easeIn:null,easeOut:null,shuffle:null,animIn:null,animOut:null,cssBefore:null,cssAfter:null,fxFn:null,height:"auto",startingSlide:0,sync:1,random:0,fit:0,containerResize:1,pause:0,pauseOnPagerHover:0,autostop:0,autostopCount:0,delay:0,slideExpr:null,cleartype:!$.support.opacity,cleartypeNoBg:false,nowrap:0,fastOnEvent:0,randomizeEffects:1,rev:0,manualTrump:true,requeueOnImageNotLoaded:true,requeueTimeout:250,activePagerClass:"activeSlide",updateActivePagerLink:null,backwards:false};})(jQuery); Dos cazadores estn en el bosque cuando uno de ellos se desmaya. } ", "identificarlo" es la respuesta incorrecta. Un mdico entra en una habitacin con un paciente moribundo y le dice: "Lo siento, pero solo te quedan diez". } Incluso la gente que no sirve para nada tiene la capacidad de sacarte una sonrisa. not = (o.retainPath===true) ? padding: 5px; default="90%/1.4em 'Arial',Trebuchet,Arial,Verdana,Sans-serif"> #wrapper-bg { return cfg.over.apply(ob,[ev]); type="font" // copy objects to be passed into t (required for event object to be passed in IE) El paciente le pregunta: "Diez qu, doctor? body#layout #ads-header { margin: 0.25em 0 0; } padding-left: 20px; $.fn.superfish = function(op){ Dnde fue Jos Luis despus de perderse en un campo minado? opacity: 0.8; font-weight: bold; margin: 0 auto 0 0; pandemia?) 23 | 04:15. height: 37px; #headertw img { border: 0 none; type="font" default="normal normal 110% Arial, Serif"> .feed-links { .post-footer a { (els.length-1):opts.startingSlide-1;}else{opts.nextSlide=opts.startingSlide>=(els.length-1)?0:opts.startingSlide+1;}}if(!opts.multiFx){var init=$.fn.cycle.transitions[opts.fx];if($.isFunction(init)){init($cont,$slides,opts);}else{if(opts.fx!="custom"&&!opts.multiFx){log("unknown transition: "+opts.fx,"; slideshow terminating");return false;}}}var e0=$slides[first];if(opts.before.length){opts.before[0].apply(e0,[e0,e0,opts,true]);}if(opts.after.length>1){opts.after[1].apply(e0,[e0,e0,opts,true]);}if(opts.next){$(opts.next).bind(opts.prevNextEvent,function(){return advance(opts,opts.rev?-1:1);});}if(opts.prev){$(opts.prev).bind(opts.prevNextEvent,function(){return advance(opts,opts.rev?1:-1);});}if(opts.pager||opts.pagerAnchorBuilder){buildPager(els,opts);}exposeAddSlide(opts,els);return opts;}function saveOriginalOpts(opts){opts.original={before:[],after:[]};opts.original.cssBefore=$.extend({},opts.cssBefore);opts.original.cssAfter=$.extend({},opts.cssAfter);opts.original.animIn=$.extend({},opts.animIn);opts.original.animOut=$.extend({},opts.animOut);$.each(opts.before,function(){opts.original.before.push(this);});$.each(opts.after,function(){opts.original.after.push(this);});}function supportMultiTransitions(opts){var i,tx,txs=$.fn.cycle.transitions;if(opts.fx.indexOf(",")>0){opts.multiFx=true;opts.fxs=opts.fx.replace(/\s*/g,"").split(",");for(i=0;i=els.length){opts.startingSlide=0;}}opts.currSlide=opts.startingSlide||0;var first=opts.startingSlide;$slides.css({position:"absolute",top:0,left:0}).hide().each(function(i){var z;if(opts.backwards){z=first?i<=first?els.length+(i-first):first-i:els.length-i;}else{z=first?i>=first?els.length-(i-first):first-i:els.length-i;}$(this).css("z-index",z);});$(els[first]).css("opacity",1).show();removeFilter(els[first],opts);if(opts.fit&&opts.width){$slides.width(opts.width);}if(opts.fit&&opts.height&&opts.height!="auto"){$slides.height(opts.height);}var reshape=opts.containerResize&&!$cont.innerHeight();if(reshape){var maxw=0,maxh=0;for(var j=0;jmaxw?w:maxw;maxh=h>maxh?h:maxh;}if(maxw>0&&maxh>0){$cont.css({width:maxw+"px",height:maxh+"px"});}}if(opts.pause){$cont.hover(function(){this.cyclePause++;},function(){this.cyclePause--;});}if(supportMultiTransitions(opts)===false){return false;}var requeue=false;options.requeueAttempts=options.requeueAttempts||0;$slides.each(function(){var $el=$(this);this.cycleH=(opts.fit&&opts.height)?opts.height:($el.height()||this.offsetHeight||this.height||$el.attr("height")||0);this.cycleW=(opts.fit&&opts.width)?opts.width:($el.width()||this.offsetWidth||this.width||$el.attr("width")||0);if($el.is("img")){var loadingIE=($.browser.msie&&this.cycleW==28&&this.cycleH==30&&!this.complete);var loadingFF=($.browser.mozilla&&this.cycleW==34&&this.cycleH==19&&!this.complete);var loadingOp=($.browser.opera&&((this.cycleW==42&&this.cycleH==19)||(this.cycleW==37&&this.cycleH==17))&&!this.complete);var loadingOther=(this.cycleH==0&&this.cycleW==0&&!this.complete);if(loadingIE||loadingFF||loadingOp||loadingOther){if(o.s&&opts.requeueOnImageNotLoaded&&++options.requeueAttempts<100){log(options.requeueAttempts," - img slide not loaded, requeuing slideshow: ",this.src,this.cycleW,this.cycleH);setTimeout(function(){$(o.s,o.c).cycle(options);},opts.requeueTimeout);requeue=true;return false;}else{log("could not determine size of image: "+this.src,this.cycleW,this.cycleH);}}}return true;});if(requeue){return false;}opts.cssBefore=opts.cssBefore||{};opts.animIn=opts.animIn||{};opts.animOut=opts.animOut||{};$slides.not(":eq("+first+")").css(opts.cssBefore);if(opts.cssFirst){$($slides[first]).css(opts.cssFirst);}if(opts.timeout){opts.timeout=parseInt(opts.timeout);if(opts.speed.constructor==String){opts.speed=$.fx.speeds[opts.speed]||parseInt(opts.speed);}if(!opts.sync){opts.speed=opts.speed/2;}var buffer=opts.fx=="shuffle"?500:250;while((opts.timeout-opts.speed)20 MEJORES Apodos para Calvos 2023 | ConsejoCiudadano #header .description { No es algo garantizado a da de hoy. "Puede cogerme la mano, por favor?". body#layout #ads-header { NeGros apodos y nombres Sobrenombres, fuentes elegantes, smbolos y etiquetas para NeGros - Cenicero, Ua de mecnico, Coca-Cola con ojo, Sobaco de indio, Hombre carbn, Mr popo. } "Puedo ayudarle. #HTML111 h2 { } type="color" default="#fff"> var menu = $menu.parents(['ul. margin-top: -42px; margin-right: 20px; width: 23px; // default configuration options Bueno, si estoy hablando con mis drogas, probablemente ya dije que s. A medida que me hago mayor, me acuerdo de toda la gente que he perdido por el camino. } Cuanto ms oscuro, irnico y repugnante sea el humor de tu preferencia, ms probable es que tu coeficiente intelectual sea mayor. padding: 0 0 1.5em; } } background: url("//1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ws3R4FfIAow/UYxjSxOsVQI/AAAAAAAAJPA/RrTwGK5g26U/s000/featured-next.png") no-repeat scroll right top transparent; El guata de callo: arrastrado, chupamedias. 3813-Texto del artculo-19809-2-10-20221109 - Studocu margin-right: auto; Entonces record por qu estaba cavando un hoyo en nuestro jardn. "Sigues sosteniendo la escalera?". overflow: hidden; text-decoration: none; timeout: 0 overflow: hidden; o.$path : ''; margin: 0; text-transform: none; width: 1000px; float: left; La mir y le dije: "Todava no lo he decidido". Crnica de una jornada ciclista con la matriarca de la Vuela a Asturias text-shadow: 0 1px 0 #000000; Peln Hace referencia a una cabeza redonda y con ausencia de pelo. width: 36px; Y recuerda que cuando acabes con estos chistaos puedes dedicarle unos minutos a estos chistes ingeniosos e inteligentes para personas listas o incluso mandarle a tu papi uno de estos chistes de padre que harn rer a toda tu familia. 0){p.cycleTimeout=setTimeout(function(){go(els,opts,0,(!opts.rev&&!opts.backwards));},ms);}}$.fn.cycle.updateActivePagerLink=function(pager,currSlide,clsName){$(pager).each(function(){$(this).children().removeClass(clsName).eq(currSlide).addClass(clsName);});};function getTimeout(curr,next,opts,fwd){if(opts.timeoutFn){var t=opts.timeoutFn.call(curr,curr,next,opts,fwd);while((t-opts.speed)<250){t+=opts.speed;}debug("calculated timeout: "+t+"; speed: "+opts.speed);if(t!==false){return t;}}return opts.timeout;}$.fn.cycle.next=function(opts){advance(opts,opts.rev?-1:1);};$.fn.cycle.prev=function(opts){advance(opts,opts.rev?1:-1);};function advance(opts,val){var els=opts.elements;var p=opts.$cont[0],timeout=p.cycleTimeout;if(timeout){clearTimeout(timeout);p.cycleTimeout=0;}if(opts.random&&val<0){opts.randomIndex--;if(--opts.randomIndex==-2){opts.randomIndex=els.length-2;}else{if(opts.randomIndex==-1){opts.randomIndex=els.length-1;}}opts.nextSlide=opts.randomMap[opts.randomIndex];}else{if(opts.random){opts.nextSlide=opts.randomMap[opts.randomIndex];}else{opts.nextSlide=opts.currSlide+val;if(opts.nextSlide<0){if(opts.nowrap){return false;}opts.nextSlide=els.length-1;}else{if(opts.nextSlide>=els.length){if(opts.nowrap){return false;}opts.nextSlide=0;}}}}var cb=opts.onPrevNextEvent||opts.prevNextClick;if($.isFunction(cb)){cb(val>0,opts.nextSlide,els[opts.nextSlide]);}go(els,opts,1,val>=0);return false;}function buildPager(els,opts){var $p=$(opts.pager);$.each(els,function(i,o){$.fn.cycle.createPagerAnchor(i,o,$p,els,opts);});opts.updateActivePagerLink(opts.pager,opts.startingSlide,opts.activePagerClass);}$.fn.cycle.createPagerAnchor=function(i,el,$p,els,opts){var a;if($.isFunction(opts.pagerAnchorBuilder)){a=opts.pagerAnchorBuilder(i,el);debug("pagerAnchorBuilder("+i+", el) returned: "+a);}else{a=''+(i+1)+"";}if(!a){return;}var $a=$(a);if($a.parents("body").length===0){var arr=[];if($p.length>1){$p.each(function(){var $clone=$a.clone(true);$(this).append($clone);arr.push($clone[0]);});$a=$(arr);}else{$a.appendTo($p);}}opts.pagerAnchors=opts.pagerAnchors||[];opts.pagerAnchors.push($a);$a.bind(opts.pagerEvent,function(e){e.preventDefault();opts.nextSlide=i;var p=opts.$cont[0],timeout=p.cycleTimeout;if(timeout){clearTimeout(timeout);p.cycleTimeout=0;}var cb=opts.onPagerEvent||opts.pagerClick;if($.isFunction(cb)){cb(opts.nextSlide,els[opts.nextSlide]);}go(els,opts,1,opts.currSlidel?c-l:opts.slideCount-l;}else{hops=c
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apodos para pelados humor negro